hope
/hoʊp/-the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.
-a particular instance of this feeling: the hope of winning.
-to believe, desire, or trust: I hope that my work will be satisfactory.
-to feel that something desired may happen
Hope has taken on new meanings for me.
1. Hope Christian Fellowship: a place where Koreans of GWU come together every Thursday night to fellowship and praise
Thursday, Thursday, gotta go to Hope on Thursdays! Not going to lie, as much of a privilege it has been to serve this year, it has also been incredibly draining. It's been discouraging to see lack of commitment and faithfulness among brothers and sisters. There's been many times when I've gotten so fed up to the point where I have said that I wish I could leave Hope forever. It'd be incredibly selfish of me to do that. Yes, as a fellowship, we definitely do have our share of problems, drama, and conflicts, but we all need to stop and think for a moment. It's our sinful nature to be far from perfect, but in our weaknesses, Christ's power is perfected. Yes, I have faced upsets and disappointments as a small group leader this year, but I am incredibly grateful and blessed that God has provided me with the opportunity to serve. Though it has indeed been a handful, I am so thankful for the new friendships and bonds that I have formed throughout the course of this year. I'm excited to see what God has next in store for us all together!
2. essentially the only thing we have as believers in Christ
As some of you may have realized, this semester has been my toughest so far. After winter break, I returned to school distraught, drained, and unwilling to move on. Even though I had been able to see the glory and magnitude of God through such a terrible tragedy over winter break, I came back and questioned my purpose in life. I kept thinking, "What am I doing here? Do I really belong here? How am I supposed to serve God if I feel so low and down in the dumps?" During my "down" phase, I masked my brokenness and experienced breakdowns in which I would either cry myself to sleep and/or call up my parents while bawling my eyes out. I can't really explain why I felt this way. Perhaps I just felt a sense of emptiness that I felt that no one could ever fill or perhaps I experienced these feelings because I'm immature and turned to other things or people first instead of constantly seeking after God. Thankfully, I was able to come out of this only by the grace of God and through talks with my parents and fellow HCF sophomore sisters. This semester, I've really been able to feel and see the glory of God no matter the circumstance. I've realized that as a believer in Christ, the only thing we have in life is HOPE. Just think about it. If we didn't believe, we would live to serve ourselves and die to ourselves. What would our purpose in life be? We are able to live and praise because of Him. In this life, all that we have to look forward to is to witness the greatness of God with our very own eyes. Without Him, what would we have to look forward to in this life? Nothing.
3. optimism
Everyday, I face much skepticism and fear about what is to become of my future. I convince myself that as long as I work hard and maintain a 4.0, I'll be fine. In reality, I'm lying to myself because I fail to think about what I'm pressing on to. In the short term, I do not know what is going to happen. Will I stay or will I leave? How will I react if I leave, and is it really God's purpose for me to leave here after forming so many close friendships? Am I meant to leave and if I do leave, how will my faith be affected? In the long term and beyond college, I don't know what to expect. Law school? Missions? Grad school? Christian rock band? I honestly have no idea.
Note to self: Trust in His plans because He's the only hope I have.
For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you? Indeed, you are our glory and joy. -1 Thessalonians 2:19
